Set the Pace
Excerpt
ยฉ 2016 by Kim Karr
Jasper Storm
Control is an absolute necessity when driving fast on the road, and there is no other car that applies force to the pavement as directly as the Storm. Whether turning the wheel, accelerating the gas, or stepping on the brake, I am always in contact with the road, and therefore I always have control.
Too bad I canโt say the same for my life, which right now seems to be spinning out of control.
Driving through the streets of the old Cass Corridor, I manage to suppress the bad memories of my childhood from surfacing. Sure, the areaโs history is a sad cocktail of drugs, prostitution, and crippling poverty. And even though this section of midtown is a shadow of its former self, I can still see the neglect in the thoughtless demolition. However, as I come to a stop in front of Charlotteโs building, I can also spot change and hope for the future.
Then again, her building isnโt the grimy brick front with a dark lobby lit only by streaks of light through cracked windowpanes that I grew up in. Her stairs arenโt rotting, her hallway isnโt a putrid shade of green, the carpet isnโt worn, nor does it smell like piss, and there isnโt the yelling going on that makes me want to cover my ears.
This isnโt the same place where I grew up.
Slowly, I glance around. Sheโs rightโher building isnโt that bad. As I take the stairs and look out the window, I think I might have been a bit harder on her than I needed to be.
Walking down the hallway, I canโt suppress the smile on my face when I see that her bike is just outside the door. This means sheโs planning on coming with me. After my confession last night, I wasnโt exactly sure she would.
Way too soon, Iโm standing in front of her apartment.
Not quite ready for this, I give myself the pep talk. This is not a date.
Not.
A.
Date.
Answers.
Youโre looking for answers.
Thatโs all.
You donโt need to be thinking of her in any other way than as someone you used to know. You look only at her face. You definitely donโt watch the way she moves. You donโt need to feel guilty because you f*cked her co-worker. You donโt even remember much about it anyway. And for fuckโs sake, you donโt need to be thinking about how good this girl would feel wrapped around you.
With that out of the way, Iโm feeling clear-headed and focused. Before that changes, I hurry up and knock.
No one answers.
I knock again.
Maybe she changed her mind and she isnโt going to come with me after all.
Feeling impatient, I knock one more time.
โJust a minute,โ I hear from inside.
The sound of her voice makes me feel desperate to see her. Thatโs not a good thing. I should leave. I really should. I seriously consider it for about a hot minute. Nothing but bad can come out of this. But my feet seem cemented in place and when I hear the click-clack of a lock and it begins to turn, itโs too late.
Slowly the door opens and she comes into view. As soon as she does, the wind is knocked right out of my lungs. She looks a little disheveled but all the more beautiful because of it. Feeling like Iโve been zapped, Iโm overwhelmed by the energy between us and it holds me in place. Everything about her is like it used to beโjust the sexier, hotter, grown-up version. Her hair is pulled back, but even so, it still looks wild and untamed. She always said her hair was a bother and she just wanted it out of the way. Because I used to really like her hair, it always made me laugh.
I still like her hair, and the fact that she pulled it back because it might be a bother makes me want to laugh now. That, along with the toothpaste on her lip, is just too much. I try to hold back my laughter but fail miserably.
โWhat?โ she asks with mild curiosity.
โNothing,โ I say with a shake of my head. โItโs just I wasnโt sure youโd come with me today.โ
She looks at me as if considering her words, and I use this time to study her further. Sheโs not wearing any makeup and everything about her face screams how gorgeous she is. For no reason at all, my chest tightens.
It doesnโt mean anything.
So what if it took less than 1.4 seconds for that hurricane within me to start batting around.
It means nothing.
But then that fucking myriad of conflicting emotions starts to mess with my mind and yeah, I realize, it means something. Just like that, itโs as if my pep talk never took place. Still, I can handle this. Find out what she knows. Drop her off. And say goodbyeโforever.
How hard can it be?
